| maybe i should take the escalator in my dreams |
[Oct. 21st, 2008|09:25 am] |
for how many dreams i have about elevator accidents, it's amazing i can still ride in them several times a week without having a panic attack. last night it was me, kurt, and a couple of random people in a hotel elevator while on vacation and once the elevator started moving it tipped over sideways (i assume as one of the cables broke) and then increased speed as we fell. none of us were hurt badly when it hit but i was shocked to find out later in the dream's day that they were already using the elevator again for new guests. last time it was a hospital elevator. before that, just some random elevator.
anyone care to analyze? |
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| is that the way it's supposed to happen? |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|08:37 am] |
so far today really sucks. i slept terrible. i had strange dreams about getting tricked into working with babies all day at a daycare, a boyfriend who was sneaking behind my back selling heroin, a guy who was supposed to be putting in a new sidewalk at my house but spent all his time gabbing with the neighbors, and a dress i was making that kept falling apart. i woke up so frustrated.
then when i was eating breakfast i heard a strange sound and went into the dining room to find that the stupid ceiling is leaking. luckily i qualify for one of our programs here at work that can help with stuff like that so the cost shouldn't be too great... as long as all the stupid pipes don't need to be replaced or something.
but, you know, i just would like to go back to bed and have a do-over. |
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| the cocoa gives them a reddish tinge |
[Feb. 25th, 2008|12:48 pm] |
i'm getting sick. my throat is sore, glands swollen, tired, and all fuzzy-headed. just in time for mid-terms. shit. maybe i would feel better if i hadn't lived mainly off of cupcakes all weekend? i doubt it.
in good news, kurt finally pulled the tooth he's been needing to pull to get his braces in a few weeks. for awhile there, i was getting worried that i would have to help loosen it up and since i can't stand any sort of teeth stuff beyond brushing and flossing, that would have been very bad indeed.
my birthday weekend started off fantastic and then devolved into study sessions where nothing seemed to stick in my head at all. i feel like i know less now than i did when i started studying. boo.
i just have to get through this week. then it's spring break when i can regroup, go over everything and hopefully get more comfortable with the material, and spend time praying to a god i don't believe in that i can pass organic chemistry this semester. eh, actually i'll probably nix that last.
last night i had very strange dreams about roller-skating with my sister (emily though, not leah who i actually have general plans to go roller-skating with in the near future) at a place where you could order a cup full of plain hot fudge. yum.
today i got CDs in the mail that i ordered last week. my new record player should be right behind them. :) |
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| despite the hummus, this week is not looking good |
[Feb. 4th, 2008|01:26 pm] |
i had a dream last night about a guy named donald. despite the silly name (i have all kinds of bad associations with the name "don" too) he was actually quite good-looking and a total sweetheart with smooshy loverboy cheeseness (lines like: you're the most beautiful girl i've ever known, how did i live this long without you). too much, in fact. why do i have dreams about guys i wouldn't actually be interested in? at least i got to make out with him in the bathroom of my workplace that isn't really the bathroom of my workplace. even though i spent too much dream-time wondering about how dirty the floor was we were laying on and if it was going to leave dust marks on my clothes. i just can't get this lucid dreaming thing down.
i also think i may have failed my chemistry test. we STILL don't have our grades but they're promised to be up this afternoon. (*edit* it is affirmative. now, not only have i gotten an F on a test in college, i've gotten two F's, one in my field of study. should it make me feel better that the class average is only 65%?) he admitted in class that he accidentally had our grade totals (for quizzes plus the test) up on the site for us to see though and mine is.... not good. so, you know, my plan to spend more time on chemistry and less on physics: definitely needed.
in good news, i got yarn in the mail today! that i ordered less than a week ago! new socks, here i come! |
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| ladybug strawberries |
[Nov. 6th, 2007|11:29 am] |
so i woke up at 4:15 am this morning and didn't get back to sleep for about a half an hour but then i dreamed. it was a weird one.
it's foggy now but here's what i remember. i borrowed one of brian's bikes because i had to run an errand. i took the bike into this building that is often in my dreams. it's set up sort of like a hotel with a long hallway with doors on one side and windows on the other but i know that it's really an apartment or condo building. it's kind of ghetto. i ride the bike in and ride down the hallway. as i get to the door at the other end i realize there are doorknob sized buttons at the bottom of the door that the bike tire can press to open the door so i use it to open all the rest of the doors in the dream. i go to the store and get back home but now i have a car and i park it in my neighbors entryway INside her house. she's pissed but i tell her this is what she gets for leaving her car in front of my garage all the time (my neighbors in real life used to do this until i finally told them to stop.)
we (brian, lukas and i at this point, i think) go into my house which is someone else's house where we're going to make and have supper with some other friends. oh yeah, amy and scott were coming over! lukas had been staying at their house in vancouver (?? i guess you have a house in vancouver now, amy) so they were old friends. as we're climbing the carpeted, spiral staircase we stop to pick some giant mushrooms in this little built-in planter in the center of the stairs. also, growing on and by the side of the stairs there are strawberry ladybugs growing and we want to use those in a salad but someone (courtney, i think) disagreed because they were alive and she's vegetarian so she wouldn't eat them. also, they were getting really mushy like old strawberries but still sort of alive... dude, they were gross. i don't know how to describe them but they were like hand-sized ladybugs that were sort of like fruit but more like giant ladybugs.
we finally get up the stairs and there are little kittens running around. little tiny 2-3 week old kittens! they were so cute and fluffy. they were mostly black but there was a tabby one in there too. lukas started chopping up the mushrooms and brian did something with chickpeas... i had to run back downstairs for something and really tried to find some good ladybug strawberries. i really wanted to eat them for some reason.
anyway, we made supper with weird ingredients and people came over and it was fun but then my alarm started going off so the dream got all choppy and strange. don't really remember much else.
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in real life news, this morning was my final organic chemistry lab for this semester. we did the post-lab report right away so i don't have that to do this weekend or another pre-lab report. i feel sort of free except, you know, still anxiety-ridden and like i'm forgetting something. |
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| it's harder than it looks |
[Aug. 19th, 2007|10:29 am] |
the other night i had a dream that i was back in school and had a math test. no specific part of math, not calculus or algebra or anything like that, just math. so i went to the building where the test was and my classmates and i were talking about how it shouldn't be too hard because it was the first test of the year but i hadn't had time to study at all so i was worried about it anyway. when the test was passed out i looked at it and saw that it had a bunch of square roots and derivatives and stuff on the front and immediately i was freaking out because i couldn't remember how to do them. but then the teacher started explaining how the test would work: we were to go out into the huge library outside the room we were in and look through the books and materials out there to finish the test. this seemed odd for a math test but i walked out with everyone else and sort of just watched what they were doing to figure out what i should be doing. when i next looked down at my test it was like 50 pages long, a huge stack of papers, and it was all about history - mostly early american history and native american stuff. i won't get into details about the rest of the dream but it was ridiculous. there were so many books and so many parts to the test that i couldn't focus on just one section and in some sections we had to actually move artifacts around and study them and put them in the chronological order they should be in and then explain what they all were on the test. it was so ridiculously hard. and everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves and finding it really easy. i was so frustrated i just wanted to burst out crying and eventually did when our time was up and i realized i hadn't even completed half of the test.
the rest of the dream was even more weird but it's all foggy now. there was a church and a guy making drinks by squeezing pineapple juice from pineapple chunks and someone was pissed off at us for drinking in the church but it was like this regular thing we did so we didn't see why they were so upset. very strange.
so i guess i definitely have a little subconscious anxiety about school starting. yesterday kurt and i went and got our notebooks and folders and all that crap and i stopped to get my physics book and molecular model at barnes and noble. the only thing i'm missing now is my physics lab manual which they didn't have when we were there. i'm practically counting the hours until my first class starts. i can't help it. i'm done with summer. i don't want to think about summer things anymore. i want to be busy and working on my damn degree so eventually i can be done with school.
last night's dreams were almost worse. or maybe they were worse, i don't know. more to do with personal shit than school and it's all foggy and i don't really remember much except that i woke up very unhappy. i'm still unhappy. blah. i don't want to talk about it, i guess.
kurt's cat is super lonely and lovey this morning. he won't leave my side, which is kind of cute, and as soon as i take the computer off my lap he's going to be back there purring and rubbing his fuzzy little face on my neck and making me a hundred times more itchy than i already am. i love my cats but i really just wish i wasn't allergic to the damn things. normally he isn't so attention-starved that he needs to get so close but it's been a long couple of weeks that they've been home alone for quite a bit.
alright, i think i'm done rambling for the moment. i need to go make a grocery list. i think i might actually sand my dresser today and see if i can't start staining it. |
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| macaroni is what comes to mind... |
[Aug. 3rd, 2007|11:06 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | dreams, work | ] |
| [ | music |
| | modest mouse - "dramamine" | ] |
i didn't sleep good last night at all. i had this incredibly vivid dream instead. jenna and i drove to fargo to grocery shopping. we had planned to go down, get the shopping done and then go out to eat at the thai orchid. yum! but grocery shopping took forEVER, like hours and hours and it got really late at night so thai orchid was out. we almost bought pizza to reheat from the grocery store but decided to go to taco john's instead. turns out we were also supposed to pick up my sisters, leah and emily, to drive back with us but by the time we got to where they were it was just too late and we were all too tired and crabby to drive home so we got a hotel room. a huuuuuge hotel room with a living room, little kitchen, three bedrooms, and two bathrooms. kurt, jenna, and i all got our own bedrooms and my sisters were going to sleep on the couch down the hall. there was also a balcony/ overhang type thing overlooking a lake on the first floor below us which was all foggy and mysterious. i went to bed and got kurt to bed but couldn't sleep because my sisters were so loud and kurt got back up and was being loud with them. banging cupboards in the kitchen, watching TV and talking and laughing. jenna slept through it all but i kept getting up all groggy and pissy and complaining to them to be quiet and hurry up and eat their taco john's and go to bed. it was like 3:00 am by this time in the dream and i was royally pissed that kurt was still up. i rummaged for something in the kitchen and repeated the trying to sleep and getting up and bitching a couple of times. my sisters were annoyed with me and didn't understand why i couldn't just sleep through it. i woke up for real this morning super crabby and groggy and worn out. grr.
then i came to work and tried to straighten a mix-up with transferring our federal funds and that was hell. i didn't know there was a mix-up until i called this morning and then realized that the BRIGHT YELLOW sheet with exclamation points everywhere in our grant award explaining how the process has changed obviously means shite because, according to every office i talked to this morning, nothing has changed after all. double grr.
i've gotten a lot done today already but i'm just ready for the workday to be over. looking forward to a weekend with no concrete plans and a lot of relaxing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2007|09:56 am] |
so today i got up right when the alarm went off. it sucked. but once i was in the shower i actually ended up feeling more awake than usual. i even had time to eat breakfast at home AND ride my bike to work. whoa. uh-huh, we'll see if i can keep this up next week. now that i'm sitting here at my desk trying to find things to do, i'm just as yawny and tired as i normally am at my desk. boo.
it's the weekend. thank god. and we have ripe strawberries. i couldn't resist trying one on my way out the door this morning and it was ta-aaart! i hope they all aren't like that.
also, kurt's class was great yesterday. when asked, he said he was glad i made him stay.
*edit*
oh yeah, i had this bizarre dream this morning in between my two alarms. (yes, i cheated a tiny bit. my alarm clock is about five minutes faster than my cell phone alarm so i snuck in one little faux-snooze.) me and someone (a guy, not sure who he was) were at this camp and there was a big dance going on downstairs. i had gone in the attic to hang out and read and book and he came up with his niece who he was feeding with a bottle and we were talking. then susie came up and we were all talking. suddenly we're outside and i was heading across the lawn to go grab something and this HUGE monarch butterfly flew up and attached itself to the back of my left bicep like a bat. it hurt like hell and at first i didn't want to pry it off because it was so pretty but it freaking hurt so i finally did it and broke it's wing and it's back. then my other alarm went off. weird. |
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| long days and short nights... |
[Apr. 18th, 2007|03:02 pm] |
last night i had the most vivid dreams. so vivid that i sort of just feel like i didn't sleep most of the night.
( cut for dream talk... i know it's not real fun to read other people's dreams )
two and a half weeks of school before finals. i'm looking forward to and dreading it at the same time. a summer of close to full-time work here makes me want to cry. but evenings free to do whatever i want sounds fantastic.
school though. today as i walked up to my car after class i saw a cigarette on the ground. i had seen it when i got out of my car too but now that the sun was shining more i realized it really did look like a funny cigarette. um, yep, someone dropped their one-hitter in the parking lot. i bet they're just lost without it.
speaking of my zune (earlier), it's great, thanks for asking. i geeked out and listened to a LOST podcast this morning. and i shuffle all day at work and seem to have enough songs (1,860 so far) that it doesn't get boring or repetitious. oh, and i saw a guy today at school with a zune. a black one. too bad i didn't have my wireless turned on.
boy, am i interesting today or what? bleh.
mimi smartypants's cat died of kidney failure. i emailed her to see if maybe it was the cat food. i feel so bad for all those people out there with dead pets and i'm still nervous about buying cat food. i'll have to bite the bullet and do it this weekend but i don't want to.
califone (one of my top five favorite bands of all time, if you didn't know) is playing in minneapolis on may 17th which is a thursday. damn. it's also ascension day. i wish i could go see califone on ascension day. it would be divine, i'm sure.
*edit*
waaah! the david foster wallace book i've been wanting to get from booksfree shipped today. yay! finally! along with my #3 book, extremely loud and incredibly close by jonathon safran foer. ahh books, how they make a day. (well, wednesdays are always good but this just makes it better.) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2007|01:58 pm] |
i had a dream last night that i was going to my ten year reunion again with a few changes:
it was held at my dad's farm that looked more like my dad's farm when i was little and it wasn't my dad's yet. modest mouse was playing in the quonset and many of my classmates were into it. isaac brock looked fucking hot and much younger than he actually is. in fact, everyone looked much younger than they would be at a ten year reunion. also, somewhere in the dream i was listening to the new shins album and realizing that i liked it way more than i thought i did (i don't really).
there were, of course, many more details and it was mostly based on interactions that actually happened at the reunion, only in different ways. i wouldn't mention it except that everywhere i go today something reminds me of something in the dream. it's strange.
not much else is new. i'm still sick but this cold seems to change every day. today i have a cough and a feeling of disconnectedness whereas yesterday my lungs were really heavy and i was just really tired. hopefully it changes to GONE soon.
oh, i should mention that i've changed my conclusion about the bathroom. i'm pretty positive the long bathroom sessions had nothing to do with wackin' it and everything to do with video games. the other day i made a rule that all video game consoles (including gameboys) had to be kept in the living room. kurt had taken to carrying his DS in his pocket while at home and this should have clued me in much earlier. after kurt brought them all down we later had a talk about it because he was upset that i don't trust him. oh lord, how many more of these are we going to have before the whole parenting thing is over? anyway, i just explained how sometimes it's hard to not play with things when you have them right with you all the time. this way it makes it a little easier for him to not thing about playing gameboy all the time. it sounded better than that at the time and he seemed relieved and agreed with me. i think he was probably expecting me to get pissed off and call him out on the bathroom playing and ground him or something.
point is though that he hasn't had an hour-plus long bathroom session since. i can only hope i don't have to go through this all again when it really DOES have something to do with masturbation. i figure he comes home from school and has two hours alone before i get home, he can get his stuff done in that time, right?
anyway, i feel kind of silly for how i freaked out about it. he's still such a kid that i should have known it had nothing to do with that. but on the other hand he's going into that age where he will still be such a kid but will be dealing with all the confusing sexual changes going on in him and around him. and i'm remembering just how much that sucked. |
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